okay cool new blog post

when it comes to boys all i have to say is regret. when it comes to kissing, all i can say is that i've only ever kissed 5 boys.


i'm kind of proud of my first kiss. and also not at the same time. this guy always seemed to force me to not like the guy i liked by kissing me, which happened twice. the first time!!!!! the academy is' 'slow down' was playing. idk why but ive kind of got an emotional attachment to that one. he was also the best kisser ever hee hee. on this day guy A made me break up with my boyfriend, so he could kiss me. bad choices bad choices

im kind of hitchin up my belt to the fact that i took this guys kiss virginity. we'd been a 'its complicated' for a few monthes and this kiss inspired him to stop talking to me for 9 monthes. we were fighting over something at formal, and he just kind of leaned in and kissed me for a good two songs. according to very reliable sources, i was said to have the most repulsed face evaa. but the thing is, as bad of a kisser he was i went back on those minutes for about the next year of my tragic teenage loife. even after my best friend stole him from me. =/

i dont even wanna talk about this guy because if i do it just makes me sick and sick and sick and sick. i was desperate for a way to get over guy b, and i was sort of vaguely attracted to him so i said yes, despite his lol cheese personality!! all i can do is regret this whole relationship now. i cant even joke about it anymore. it sucks.

i should still be with this guy. but im not because im dumb. really poopin dumb. i took his kiss virginity too, and it was awesome and hilarious at the same time. we went out for 6 monthes and only kissed once (which i thought was respectable, as opposed to my last 'ship)we used to go on dates on world of warcraft and that was also pretty cool. he let me go to the ex everyday and that was pretty sweet. and still i was pretty much the worst girlfriend ever. i left him for boy e and that was not cool and not worth it. he's ppretty much the coolest guy i know and we dont talk anymore and i think he hates me and he has a gorgeous, cool girlfriend that works at the bookstore. go insertnamehere :)

k. this one is dumb. no idea what i was thinking, obvs it wasnt very smart. it was just a dumb fling that lasted a week. nowadays he is actually the biggest and most confusing ass i know. and it sucks because i know what an amazing guy he can be, if he respects you. and he doesnt deserve to get more written about him. ha!!


now, it would be so easy to add this guy this kinda cool list. but. see guy c. same type of situation, same lol cheese personality. bad bad bad.
but, there is another guy that i am mildly interested in. we used to be pretty tight franz in middle school, but after the show & driving around with him yesterday im feelin kind of different about him hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

comparisons are easily done once youve had a taste of perfection

i hate this lump in my throat that wont go away thats telling me that i need to cry but i resist because i dont enjoy being emo but thats ridic since i have an emo feelin that this blog post is going to be terribly lame and emo and i just wish i knew what to do with this whole situation which, did i mention? really poopin sucks and i just really wish i had the confidence i used to have when talkin to him because i used to be so cool and then highschool destroyed it and i always seem to attract boys that dont appeal to me but seem to because i realise that ill never have him and ill have to settle for someone else and this other guy is probably going to ask me out tomorrow and i really dont want to but i know ill say yes because im a pushover like that and i do not want to leave for 4 days too much is happening and i have a hole on my pants in the general bum area along with a severe case of 80s mom butt for the play but i can deal because i like to sing but this is turning into a severe case of self pity post and im not too down with that but i still havent made my point which is that no matter how hard i try i will never get over him hes way too awesome and cool sometimes and i dont measure up to anyone hes ever mentioned and it really sucks to have wasted so much time on one person that will never look at me again and all my friends have boyfriend or girlfriends and i could have one but i dont want him like that and i am rainin on allisons parade way too much and i am really really really sorry but life sucks way too much lately and something cool needs to happen

bitch post #24742873247

"i have made a lot of friends and i’ve lost a lot of friends over the past couple years. i think, too, that the past couple years were some of the first times in a while that i’ve felt the burn of other people’s ignorance… a lack of patience and a quickness to judge. it forced me to grow up and realize what’s real. who’s worth the pain and who’s not. "



and yeah, youre not.
you don't deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you
ps youre still single. hahahahaa :)

no subject for you

board...

count your blessings on one hand

what a poop day. can i make a list? please? okay

• i listened to that children of bodom song again
• accidently hung out with someone at lunch time and surprisingly had a few laughs, not of their accord tho. cause they have no sense of humour!!!!!!!!!!
• tomtom brought a movie to french class to watch, and literally made me sick.
• failed my permit by 1. i actually hate meters.
• my bangs always look really nooby lately.
• the library was closed this morn (who closes a library on a thursday?????) so i had to ask marybeth to let me emprimer my speech. scarey potatoes.
• my midriff was visable
• mr keating gave us chocolate today. as i unwrapped mine both of them fell out of the wrapper and onto the floor
• my cell fell in my glass of water today. i dont think i can function without texting. weirdness
• my name is still mandy.
• had a really cool idea for a blog entry but i forgot it and did this instead

buuuuuuuuuuut at the end of the day everythings cool cause at lunch today we told off mark for stalking me. it was beautiful.

i still try, holding onto silly things, i never learn

sometimes, i dont like my life.

firstly, the cds that people have so generously burned for me have been collecting dust because my computer (which is a bit on the ancient side) refuses to open it's portal thing for me!!!

2ndly- i haven't spent a saturday night without (or with allison :( i hate living in poopville ) the band in agesssssssssss n stuff. but last night i found myself playing ball with suki, eating all the girl guide cookies (chocolate!!!! \m/) among other pitiful activities. so, this allowed me to realize that kortni was hanging with taylor, chase was with aly, david was with tiff. mandy was with her imaginary boyfriend. so is it really that sad that i'm the only one left without a boyfriend? my plan for this year was to not get involved with anyone (with one exception) so i could focus on my music and gradez. i even used that as an excuse a few times to get out of some boyish situations. (my favorite still remains the good ol 'im pregnant....' which always omits hilarious results) anyways, it's no big deal. i was just thinking that i'm so over the whole FOCUS ON MY STUDIES thing, who does that??? so boys, line up. im open for business. (gtfo dirty mind)

LASTLY. in general i have been very bored this weekend. i was organising my smarties, eating the blue ones last. when i was done, i folded the box neatly beside the keyboard. it was then that i spotted the matches. matches are so neat. they make fire. so i had the brill idea of lighting my smarties box on fiyah, just like your sex. once i was satisfied, i threw the charred remnants in the trash..............................which started burning because i didnt put the dang fire out.

i was sent to my room.

!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!