yeah!!! my heart turned black then the sky turned gray

people are misleading, people are disappointing.
and im disappointing and misleading.
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this week brought a poopload of realizations 4 me. a lot of my old friends have surrendered to the 'ideal' teenage life on the river, which includes wearing the same friggin thing as everyone else, having the same hair, same ridiculous pink streaks, drinking the same drinks, smoking the same joints, going to the same parties. i know it seems like im preaching AGAIN but it's just something i feel pretty strongly about. it's disappointing to me because somehow i expected them to not give into the pressure (its getting closer now!!! (8) )why is that image so darn appealing to kids around here??? why is it cool. it's just something that doesn't make sense to me. there are so many cooler things that you could be doing.. like hangin out with your OLD friends (who i really miss :( ), catching up and playing hide and seek and having internet parties like the good old days.
anyways, do you guys know the time???? oh yeah!! its EMO TIME.
i am a disappointment to myself. from my school work to my rep to my musical skillz to my shyness (why cant i be more OUTGOING haaaa) its just disappointment all around. am i ever gonna get over myself and actually try to reel a boy (that i actually care about) in? am i ever gonna learn to master my own instrument, and learn somethin other than back in black on drums? (i know its hard to get to this level of coolness)
anyways, stay fly