okay cool new blog post

when it comes to boys all i have to say is regret. when it comes to kissing, all i can say is that i've only ever kissed 5 boys.


i'm kind of proud of my first kiss. and also not at the same time. this guy always seemed to force me to not like the guy i liked by kissing me, which happened twice. the first time!!!!! the academy is' 'slow down' was playing. idk why but ive kind of got an emotional attachment to that one. he was also the best kisser ever hee hee. on this day guy A made me break up with my boyfriend, so he could kiss me. bad choices bad choices

im kind of hitchin up my belt to the fact that i took this guys kiss virginity. we'd been a 'its complicated' for a few monthes and this kiss inspired him to stop talking to me for 9 monthes. we were fighting over something at formal, and he just kind of leaned in and kissed me for a good two songs. according to very reliable sources, i was said to have the most repulsed face evaa. but the thing is, as bad of a kisser he was i went back on those minutes for about the next year of my tragic teenage loife. even after my best friend stole him from me. =/

i dont even wanna talk about this guy because if i do it just makes me sick and sick and sick and sick. i was desperate for a way to get over guy b, and i was sort of vaguely attracted to him so i said yes, despite his lol cheese personality!! all i can do is regret this whole relationship now. i cant even joke about it anymore. it sucks.

i should still be with this guy. but im not because im dumb. really poopin dumb. i took his kiss virginity too, and it was awesome and hilarious at the same time. we went out for 6 monthes and only kissed once (which i thought was respectable, as opposed to my last 'ship)we used to go on dates on world of warcraft and that was also pretty cool. he let me go to the ex everyday and that was pretty sweet. and still i was pretty much the worst girlfriend ever. i left him for boy e and that was not cool and not worth it. he's ppretty much the coolest guy i know and we dont talk anymore and i think he hates me and he has a gorgeous, cool girlfriend that works at the bookstore. go insertnamehere :)

k. this one is dumb. no idea what i was thinking, obvs it wasnt very smart. it was just a dumb fling that lasted a week. nowadays he is actually the biggest and most confusing ass i know. and it sucks because i know what an amazing guy he can be, if he respects you. and he doesnt deserve to get more written about him. ha!!


now, it would be so easy to add this guy this kinda cool list. but. see guy c. same type of situation, same lol cheese personality. bad bad bad.
but, there is another guy that i am mildly interested in. we used to be pretty tight franz in middle school, but after the show & driving around with him yesterday im feelin kind of different about him hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

comparisons are easily done once youve had a taste of perfection

i hate this lump in my throat that wont go away thats telling me that i need to cry but i resist because i dont enjoy being emo but thats ridic since i have an emo feelin that this blog post is going to be terribly lame and emo and i just wish i knew what to do with this whole situation which, did i mention? really poopin sucks and i just really wish i had the confidence i used to have when talkin to him because i used to be so cool and then highschool destroyed it and i always seem to attract boys that dont appeal to me but seem to because i realise that ill never have him and ill have to settle for someone else and this other guy is probably going to ask me out tomorrow and i really dont want to but i know ill say yes because im a pushover like that and i do not want to leave for 4 days too much is happening and i have a hole on my pants in the general bum area along with a severe case of 80s mom butt for the play but i can deal because i like to sing but this is turning into a severe case of self pity post and im not too down with that but i still havent made my point which is that no matter how hard i try i will never get over him hes way too awesome and cool sometimes and i dont measure up to anyone hes ever mentioned and it really sucks to have wasted so much time on one person that will never look at me again and all my friends have boyfriend or girlfriends and i could have one but i dont want him like that and i am rainin on allisons parade way too much and i am really really really sorry but life sucks way too much lately and something cool needs to happen

bitch post #24742873247

"i have made a lot of friends and i’ve lost a lot of friends over the past couple years. i think, too, that the past couple years were some of the first times in a while that i’ve felt the burn of other people’s ignorance… a lack of patience and a quickness to judge. it forced me to grow up and realize what’s real. who’s worth the pain and who’s not. "



and yeah, youre not.
you don't deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you
ps youre still single. hahahahaa :)

no subject for you

board...

count your blessings on one hand

what a poop day. can i make a list? please? okay

• i listened to that children of bodom song again
• accidently hung out with someone at lunch time and surprisingly had a few laughs, not of their accord tho. cause they have no sense of humour!!!!!!!!!!
• tomtom brought a movie to french class to watch, and literally made me sick.
• failed my permit by 1. i actually hate meters.
• my bangs always look really nooby lately.
• the library was closed this morn (who closes a library on a thursday?????) so i had to ask marybeth to let me emprimer my speech. scarey potatoes.
• my midriff was visable
• mr keating gave us chocolate today. as i unwrapped mine both of them fell out of the wrapper and onto the floor
• my cell fell in my glass of water today. i dont think i can function without texting. weirdness
• my name is still mandy.
• had a really cool idea for a blog entry but i forgot it and did this instead

buuuuuuuuuuut at the end of the day everythings cool cause at lunch today we told off mark for stalking me. it was beautiful.

i still try, holding onto silly things, i never learn

sometimes, i dont like my life.

firstly, the cds that people have so generously burned for me have been collecting dust because my computer (which is a bit on the ancient side) refuses to open it's portal thing for me!!!

2ndly- i haven't spent a saturday night without (or with allison :( i hate living in poopville ) the band in agesssssssssss n stuff. but last night i found myself playing ball with suki, eating all the girl guide cookies (chocolate!!!! \m/) among other pitiful activities. so, this allowed me to realize that kortni was hanging with taylor, chase was with aly, david was with tiff. mandy was with her imaginary boyfriend. so is it really that sad that i'm the only one left without a boyfriend? my plan for this year was to not get involved with anyone (with one exception) so i could focus on my music and gradez. i even used that as an excuse a few times to get out of some boyish situations. (my favorite still remains the good ol 'im pregnant....' which always omits hilarious results) anyways, it's no big deal. i was just thinking that i'm so over the whole FOCUS ON MY STUDIES thing, who does that??? so boys, line up. im open for business. (gtfo dirty mind)

LASTLY. in general i have been very bored this weekend. i was organising my smarties, eating the blue ones last. when i was done, i folded the box neatly beside the keyboard. it was then that i spotted the matches. matches are so neat. they make fire. so i had the brill idea of lighting my smarties box on fiyah, just like your sex. once i was satisfied, i threw the charred remnants in the trash..............................which started burning because i didnt put the dang fire out.

i was sent to my room.

!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!

*stares blankly at title box* haha

How come I haven't been reading my Harry Potter books lately? There isn't much in the world that can compete with my love for them!!!!!! I haven't picked one up since summer, when I made a half-assed attempt at reading 'Chamber of Secrets' while we were on our way to Toronto. This week, when I finally realized what I had done I found my 'Deathly Hallows' book and opened up to page that i had previously marked (probably 3642642 years ago) and spent a much needed full day laying on my bed reading Harry Potter. I was at the at the part in which Hermione disguises Harry's appearance with a jinx just before the Snatchers kidnap all three of them and take them to Malfoy Manor. Unfortunately, the Snatchers recognize Hermione and find the sword, so the subsequent questioning at Malfoy Manor soon takes a grim turn; Hermione is tortured by Bellatrix, who wants to know how they got the sword. While they are downstairs in the cage, they find themselves with Ollivander the wandmaker and Luna Lovegood the awesome. Harry uses the broken two-way mirror to ask for help, and Dobby appears. When Harry and Dobby disapparate to Shell Cottage, Harry realizes that something is terribly wrong when he sees a dark stain on Dobby's pillowcase.

It was at this point that I started crying. I haven't cried since September. What the Poop? I've had reasons to cry too, but I didn't. It just struck me as odd that I would 'frikin sob' over a fictional character's death (which I have read over 20 times now), when in reality I've had much worse to cry about. Maybe I'm not as tough as I think I am. Maybe I've become immune to disappointment in my own life. Maybe I'm just a huge weirdo that doesn't know what she's talking about.







... this blog post felt so wrong in so many ways. +10 to anyone who gets why

this is how we'll dance!!! when they burn our houses down!!!!!

i have a feeling that this will be the first post of many tonight.
i always find myself never having the time to update my blog, it really friggin blows. maybe.
major drama has been happening lately!!!! well, not reals. but i haven't really surrounded myself with dramatic people in a while, so i've kind of been unintentionally avoiding that part of my 'past' life for a while. anypoop, the whole shindig was actually very hilarious and outgoing!!!!!

some girls, eh?

ps- you guys better not piss me off or ill kick you off a 3 foot subwoofer and put a big footmark on your back, tell you no one wants you here and neglect you all night.......................................

drama queen post #1

i have dug myself a metaphorical HOLE. and it is the deepest of the deep. stalking this dude seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and having him approach me allowed my insides to dance the conga... i learned fairly quickly though that this was not my kind of guy. sure, white skinny jeans are appealing, and always wearing retro headphones is sexy but this dude.. got creepy real fast.

(.. stole your idea kevin sry) long story short!!!!! this guy is sellin his xbox to come see me, and he's stolen a credit card and will not stop sending me sexual text messages. i dont know if this is harrassment???? or just normalosity for moncton kids????

he has a blog on here, so thats why i've taken the extra precaution of making my blog private... actually i should make it unprivate at some point and link him up.

yeah!!! my heart turned black then the sky turned gray

people are misleading, people are disappointing.
and im disappointing and misleading.
=\
this week brought a poopload of realizations 4 me. a lot of my old friends have surrendered to the 'ideal' teenage life on the river, which includes wearing the same friggin thing as everyone else, having the same hair, same ridiculous pink streaks, drinking the same drinks, smoking the same joints, going to the same parties. i know it seems like im preaching AGAIN but it's just something i feel pretty strongly about. it's disappointing to me because somehow i expected them to not give into the pressure (its getting closer now!!! (8) )why is that image so darn appealing to kids around here??? why is it cool. it's just something that doesn't make sense to me. there are so many cooler things that you could be doing.. like hangin out with your OLD friends (who i really miss :( ), catching up and playing hide and seek and having internet parties like the good old days.
anyways, do you guys know the time???? oh yeah!! its EMO TIME.
i am a disappointment to myself. from my school work to my rep to my musical skillz to my shyness (why cant i be more OUTGOING haaaa) its just disappointment all around. am i ever gonna get over myself and actually try to reel a boy (that i actually care about) in? am i ever gonna learn to master my own instrument, and learn somethin other than back in black on drums? (i know its hard to get to this level of coolness)
anyways, stay fly

matt, jackson n mandy in entre!!!!!!!!

so heres one more pointless blog post!!
id like to say im chillin in entre but im not, i should never have worn these shoes. so, please excuse this other half assed blog post, coz i SWEAR itll be the LAST one!!!! i'm going over to kortnis again tonight and i found this awesome pictures that i wanted to share. btw what movie should we do see? we need recommendations!!!!!

whats up people!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????

hahahahaha love it kort ^

way too many half assed blog posts this month, it needs to stop. also, half assed homework assigments need to stop as well as half assed living my life. (hahah)
just a lil bit of the stoked side for this weekend!!! if all goes well we'll be packin up the gear for fredericton and playin at the local mall!!! (badbum) despite the band being thoroughly unprepared and stuff as usual heh gotta love rock n roll
well thats all you get for now, the real worlds coming on and my green tea is about to boil over(can anyone give me a good reason as to why i watch that??)

nofx!!!

in the morning i awake
i feel my bladder about to break
i scratch my balls i rub my eyes
iust feeling lousy

my girlfriend tells me that
its time to take a bath
i say, no, not today, it's only tuesday

once every 24 hours
im supposed to take a shower
thats not the way i do it
do it do it

personal hygiene is the last thing on my mind
i don't want to do it
do it do it

it doesn't make a difference to me
everyday i do the same old thing
so why should i have to be clean?

those dreaded wednesdays and saturdays
also known as shower days
i hate them

are you an underwear model????

hello blog world!!!!!
im still at kortni's, waiting for my alarm clock to go off so we can get ready for dance practise, which has already consumed our weekend. more about that l8r
if you read that kortni chicks blog (haha ya rite) youll know that on friday we went around miramichi, armed with a book full of pick up lines, in a very serious attempt to get boys numbers. naturally, we hit up the local grocery stores first, and then moved on to the bowling alley and movie theatre. experiment failed since we became way too picky when approaching test subjects.
last night, we intended to go to a hockey game and press our luck again, but it turns out even the timberwolves arnt cool enough to play on valentines day! so, we decided to hit up the movies and see THE UNINVITED. kortni, chase and i were placed in theatre 2 (admist all the lovefest couples) which i thought was neat because id never been in that theatre before.
after the movies, we went in the garage and practised the dance until like 2am??? i dunno. did anybody not know that chase and david joined drama?? its weird, but im kind of loving it.
anyway.. it is now 12:58 and my alarm will ring at 1 which will wake kortni with some hopefully hilarious results... which i will report to you, faithful blog readers
nevermind, it was lame

youll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time!!! what are you hoping for????

valentine's day for the most part sucks...i've disliked it for the longest time because it either reminds me of someone i once had or someone that i'll never be allowed to have. which got me thinking,love comes in so many different forms on so many diff levels...unrequited love is one of those forms/predicaments ive been in and it definately sucks. loving someone SO much but due to circumstance and timing
im never able to tell him exactly how i feel. everytime i talk to him i just want to shake him and be like its meeeeee you shallow, shallow boy.
sooo0oooooo i spent like two hours the otha night downloadin what i believed to be my latest jam, i hate this part by pcd (which came on the radio twice today!!) when it finished downloading i took a listen only to discover that it was a friggin lame bummed techno version of it. its not even GOOD techno.
aaand, posting pictures that have absolutely nothing to do with my blog entries seem to have worked out well for me in the past, so ya new blog tradish

if you're listening.. whoa... sing it back!! whoa!!!

blub... i want to write a blog but i just can't bring myself to it without saying something ill regret.

i hate this, i hate this ur not the 1 i believe in, with god as my witness.

allison's been really down lately. i've got to think of something to dramatically lift her spirits!!! we had a really nice get together last night at jools', where we watched mean girls, rocket science, pathology and julie makin icons on photoshop (which was nothin short of fascinating, for reals)
i love movies, i really do. pathology was real good, i was so impressed. when it was time for bed, allison and i huddled up and watched choke on her zune, which did sooooooo0oooo much justice to the book (even though i've only seen half cuz of allisons zune dyin)
speaking of allison (again, gtfo my blog entries grl) we got matching plaid shirts!!!!!! well, hers is blue and mine is orangey. i am really a girl obsessed. plaid shirts are awesome. especially because they arnt TIGHT. there is nothing more uncomfortable then wearing TIGHT clothes. but thats just me. er, anything revealing really. cleavage of any kind is not for me, nor is/are tight jeans (who wants to broadcast to the whole world that they have no bum???) seeing girls everyday with their friggin boobs hanging out and underwear on display is real disappointing. i just thought more women in the world had dignity. it might seem like im preaching or that im some self-righteous, better than anyone, chick who wears sweat-suits everyday. thats defs not me... so what im really trying to say isthat it just sucks to see beautiful people treat themselves with no respect when they deserve it. but anyways, its not for me. erlack.
finally, tomorrow is the first offish day of second term and i still have no idea what class i'm going to replace biology with. well, i'll just have to put my best foot forward and hope for the best.
i want some icecream, anyone wanna go get some with me? dq?
okay sweet.

exams. they are over... for now. my last exam was world issues, and was mercifully the easiest exam EVER. (it involved creating a wikipedia page and figuring out how to link things, which was not accomplished within the 1 hour time limit)
now, all i want to do is get my party on. and no, i dont mean getting my drink on and gettin hammed (the opportunity happily awaits me once i'm of age.. ha i probs wont even then) no, i mean playing sims all night long, taking double chin pictures of myself and rocking the #$&* out to hil duff (also the occasional shiloh)
i went to the mall today after walkin around school with nick and chase (who OWNED tyler stewert and brittany whatshername HCORE) and i purchased UnLiMiTeD texting!!!! so, text me. no amount of inappropriateness is enough.
the other day, someone reminded me that winter not only brings heavy amount of snow, but also a heavy realization of upcoming portliness and plumpness. so, at the current mo' i am enjoyin my healthy midday snack of sunflower seeds (are they even healthy???) and strawbelly, 5 calorie jello :)

youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, your SEX in on FIIIIIIIYAAAAH

oh, gosh. i've experienced two of those infamous life changing events that completely alternate your train of thoughts. i told myself i'd think of something cooler to post on here, but it's been forevs, and i got nuthin.
so, friday night was definitely one for the books. possibly two whole school bus load worth of kids (plus allison, jools, sketch, evan and tiffany) showed up to the fire hall!! at first they all sort of stood around and watched. but after a while they got right into it and moshed and thrashed and party boy'd and such. really friggin good times. as we were up on stage, i felt so frigging BOSS. what did it matter if i head banged here when kortni wasn't? just, duuuuuuuuuuuuude. david and kort and chase and tai all played so amazing. i can't describe the feeling. it's like i found what i want out of life. everything felt so natural and awesome. perfection.
and finally. last night i was preparing to come to jools' for the night, by allowing my mum to buy me a slushie in at sholtens. mum had only just left the car when i looked up from suki to find that the car was rolling forwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first, i pooped. then i screamed, 'MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM' and then, i tried desperately to get that emergency break thing to go back, as the car kept creeping towards a car parked ahead. i was cursing myself for being lazy and not getting even my permit (even tho ill be 17 in less than a month ;D) because i knew that even if i tried to locate the break pedal, id end up stompin down on the gas. mercifully, my mom ran (!!!!) forwards, jumped in the car and slammed the brake, with two inches to spare i swear to god.
i haven't really had time to have a thought provoking realization about this yet. but i really feel like going to church. =C

everybody sing like it's the last song you will sing

everybody live like its the last day you will ever live

i'm trying this new thing, where all my blog posts arn't consumed with self pity. and instead focus on ways to live my life abundantly and cooly.
so, today school was mercifully closed thanks to antarctic conditions (yessssssss) with that being said, today promises to be an amazing day. possibly one for the books. i'm on my way to the fire hall for sound check and then other things. unfortunately, i'm pretty much having the worst hair day ever. blub blub.
dad and i finished the amp. well, dad stayed up till 2am finishing it while i slept in preparation for a math exam that would never come. i have named it 'yamavey' or 'peavha', and it was brought to life in the monster amp garage. haha. it sounds like an (gasp) actual bass amp, which is pretty much heavenly.
aaaaaaaaaand now i am disturbingly late because my moms being really friggin lame and trying to make herself look cool.

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and hurt you

i have too many blog posts following my dull life. it's time for a change.
if i were a boy, i would be in love with allison oreilly
it was perfect timing that we became best friends, the summer before grade 10 at taylor barrieau's birthday party (i feel something of a spiritual connection towards taylor because of this). we sealed the deal with a sleepover after the harry potter and the deathy hallows party.
if there are best friend soul mates, i believe allison is mine. she is my numba 1, and as terribly lame it sounds, shes always got my bum. i mean back.
back when allison was up for potential bffism in grade 9, she was something of a hot commodity. well, she still is. a certain group of girls i know sort of worship her, and as much as i try to explain this to her, allison just doesnt get it.
anyway, she's just awesome because she was blessed with that weird sense of humour that ive got, and we always say the coolest, funniest things that no one else understands but laugh anyways.
LYLAS, ARRISON.
'..ill trade ya a liquid gel for two of your regs'


btw, i can't DESCRIBE how much i FEROCIOUSLY HATE that song. (if i were a boyyyyyyyy)
kortni, you're pretty awesome too. ill make a post about you next week. or anyone else.

ps- physical
pss- lets get physical
psss- let me hear your body talk

=\

so, this saturday night has presented me with a choice that i haven't had to make in a loooo0oong time.
the opportunity to sneak out tonight is mildly overwhelming, but i can deal. i'm home alone, rob and mum arn't due back for a few hours, and the sound of it is just so darn appealing. last winter/spring all i did was sneak out on weekends, and go 'bowling' or 'to the movies', which is code 4 drifting and brawling at greg's. right now, im being offered to go to this dude's house to play guitar hero and watch movies, among other things.
there are two reasons why i am choosing the latter and not giving into temptation. one, because i am now a mom. and with great power comes great responsibility. so, i could never leave suki home alone to get inhaled by jewel. ever.
secondly, well. the relationship i have with this fellow is completely platonic. unfortunately, he doesnt know this yet. and im gonna go ahead and not pull a kortni nicols and go over to some dudes house that i dont like only to get asked out and piteously accept.

also, allison's brother; if you are reading this, GIVE ALLISON BACK HER SHUTTER SHADES RIGHT NOW.

we are girls, we do whats right for us.

alright guys, strap yourselves in. time for another halfsie emo entry. you can just go ahead and skip this paragraph entirely and head on down to the cheerful 2nd paragraph. so. i miss my house. life couldn't have been more perfect there. a five minute walk down to the nearest monster selling store, a ten minute walk to the nearest playground, a perfect trail for joggy jogs, a really bad bum woods in the backyard where i never got to have an adventure in the dark (eek) and most importantly of all, i was next door to my best franz and band headquarters. not only have i lost all of those conviences, but also all those pooping sentimental places in my house. like, where i scratched my name on the bottom of the wall when i was 6 and obsessed with madeline. and then there was my height chart, complete with toy story and pokemon stickers and i will never forget about my poor, midjet tree that i planted in kindergarden and hasn't grown since. now... blub blub. im just gonna stop talking about this. it is le dumb.
aaah i lied. this isnt going to be a very cheerful second paragraph. i really hope something abnormally cool happens soon. oh right, we learned four new songs at band last night! a little less sixteen candles, fallen leaves, i kissed a girl, and gurlfran. before that, we filmed our music video (geeze.. we're actually really cool) afterschool, which was a laugh. ill post a link to the finished project on youtube when kort finishes the editing process.
suki is so fat now. i really want to stop feeding her. she has now achieved what she has been threatening to since her first day of life; be wider than she is long.

all we shared was a mattress, and a lie and an address

i thought the world couldnt get any more poop, but once again my thoughts have proven themselves utterly ridic.
on the other foot, today we played four new songs at band. all of which are impossibly fun to play =D (tpt dance this friday, attend!!!!)

procrastination wont get the best of me.

my writing proj STILL isnt done, hopefully we can do it today at band. oh, nevermind. david has to 'work'. T_T
in other nouvelles, i have gone beyond the valley of sadness and am treading lightly into the planet of depression. actually, it isnt bothering me as much as i thought it would. probs 'cause my loyal friends have planted some nice, false hope inside of me.
i just have to continue listening to JEW. all their songs are so motivatiing and inspiring, i always muster up the courage to do something about my situation after listening to 23; which is currently on repeat. and isnt doing anything but making me hate boys.

6pm-6am

best jam EVER
not only do i get to observe willys bum all night, we are jamming for 12 hours straight!!
pooop yes and also exhaustion and also YESSS

440am is now
ive had two and a half monsters
what will my new years reso be?
suggestions? and no, i am not willing to lend anyone my good looks. (HA)

2009, holla

oh god it is so pooping cold.
still jamming, if that is possible.
we watched chase's limited edition(grrrrr) billy talent dvd again and when it came time to countdown we huddled around inside with the oldies (whom were playin rock band of course) and counted er down.
2009 has already brought enough pain to last me a few monthes, but you know.